This is great. My comedy pals Sean O’Connor, Adam Newman, and Sean Patton were on the Tyra Banks show last week. Tyra sent them all on dates with an uptight virgin to help loosen her up—which is apparently an issue with virgins. Hey-o!

Fun fact: Sean O’Connor’s whale puppet came directly from the First National Bank of Props, aka my closet. I love giving props to my friends. Double hey-o!

SOMEBODY PUT ME ON TV I’M HILARIOUS

BONUS! An admiring fan made this tribute video to Adam:

Seems like this TV appearance could make Adam Newman into…a damn new man.

UNPRECEDENTED TRIPLE HEY-O!!!!

Watch me score free chicken wings and forget to ask questions with funnyman Dave Hill:

Thanks to the watchful eyes of my commenters, I was tipped off to this semi-recent profile in the Seattle Times. Guess who comes off cool as hell and who comes off as a big dumb Canadian piece of poop?

Artist vs. comedian: A cyber spat

Blog war is hell. Or maybe it’s just funny as hell. Here’s how one of the oddest online kerfuffles played out this past summer.

For fans of the feud, BIG NEWS is coming soon! Look out!

When I’m killing time between shows, sometimes I like to “doodle it up”, as Leonardo da Vinci used to say. Here’s a recent sketch I started out randomly that somehow turned into a caricature of fellow chucklehead Sean Patton, a hilarious stand-up who does not look nearly this grotesque in person. Sorry, Sean.

SEAN PATTON

Well, it finally happened for me. Lordy, little ol’ me! There I am, featured in an above-the-fold profile in none other than the Atlanta-Journal Constitution. Why, that’s the paper that Jimmy Carter his peanut-eatin’ self reads. Finally, Jimmy and the rest of the folks back home can read all about how successful some other guy I know is!

He’s a self-made young millionaire who owns multiple properties in Brooklyn, including (here’s where I come in) the building where I live. And he wrote a book to tell you all about it, A Million Bucks By 30. But first…

Here’s the millionaire with his beautiful girlfriend!

And here’s the millionaire riding the Merrill Lynch bull!

And now here’s ME talking about him!

One of his tenants is another friend from Walton, Andrew Wright, who’s trying to make it as a comedian.

“Seeing as this guy was a class clown, and I was voted most likely to succeed in high school, you’d think he’d be paying rent to me instead of the other way around,” Wright says.

Oh, and trying to make it? Baby, I made it. I KNOW A MILLIONAIRE!

* Full disclosure: Alan’s a good friend, I just resent him for his success. Buy his book and maybe he’ll lower my rent. (He won’t.)

Hey gang,

Sam and Timmy of Whitest Kids U’Know fame will be out of town this Sunday, so I’ll be guest-hosting their stand-up show for them. I’ll be doing a lot of fun stuff, like showing a video of a recent TV appearance I’m not legally allowed to post here, so don’t miss! Here’s the info:

Come down to Pianos this Sunday for a truly special evening of entertainment! Scum and Villainy will start things off at 8pm with a fresh lineup of funny out-of-towners, new guests and hilarious favorites! Stick around for a performance of Andrew W.K. at midnight!

Sunday, January 20th:
Hot Sauce
David Cope
Rory Scovel
Nick Maritato
Guest Hosted by Andrew Wright

Scum and Villainy
8pm @Pianos
158 Ludlow St.
NYC
FREE!!
Click Here for Directions

“This guy’s a machine!”

From The New York Times reader reviews of There Will Be Blood (great movie, by the way):

Hey, kids! Wanna know what it’s like to go on the road and do comedy? Well, come cram into the chuckle-cart of fun and roll down the road to laffs with four of the happiest guys in smile biz! Here’s last month’s Super Deluxe podcast on our tour finale:

And if you think we were in high spirits for the last leg of this goodtimes travelin’ roadshow, don’t forget to check out our other tour video for Nick Maritato’s chipper response when we got stuck along the way at a rest stop in Maryland at three in the morning with no gas or money. Still legitimately the funniest thing I heard all last year.